Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Hey, jolly old fellow. It’s been a kind of a rough year so I have a few things on my list I’d like you to get to this Christmas.

• My kitchen prep space is not big enough for all the cooking I do, so I might need a bigger kitchen island. There could be some extra cookies in it for you if you make this happen.
• Put a good movie script in actor Gerard Butler’s stocking. I’m really tired of watching movies that aren’t really all that great just to see him in them.
• Could you maybe send an elf to clean my house? This would be spectacular.
• My dogs, Boo and Duke, both request gigantic bones to chew on. That would help keep them from chasing the cleaning elf you send to my house.
• I also would like a never-ending supply of Diet Coke. It’s always a sad moment when the Diet Coke runs out.
• Can you make sure the University of Kentucky Wildcats have a nice Christmas so they’ll play better? Hopefully they are not on the naughty list or this could be a long season.
• Your elves are pretty inventive. Can you get one to finally create a hoverboard? I’ve been waiting 27 years for this one. It’s time the world has these.
• If the above hoverboard is created, can you also send a helmet and plenty of knee and arm pads? I’m a bit clumsy.
• I seem to have lost my Han Solo mint-in-box collector doll. If you have a spare one of those around, you can put that under my tree as well.
• The dogs also are requesting new squeaky toys. They have a basket full but seem to think they need new ones. I’m beginning to think they’re a bit materialistic.
• But above all these things, can you take a step out of the limelight this Christmas so the focus can go back to the true meaning of the holiday? It’s not really about the presents you bring or all the songs people sing. It’s about an ordinary stable, on an ordinary night and the birth of an extraordinary baby named Jesus.
• In fact, skip all the rest and just do that last one. Maybe, just as the Grinch who stole Christmas discovered, Christmas isn’t as much about the gifts we want, but is instead about something more.

Becca Owsley can be reached at (270) 505-1741 or bowsley@thenewsenterprise.com.