Got to be Real: Holding tight to who you are

By Shonna Sheckles

Have you ever thought about what others might think of you? Do they think you might be too fat, too thin, too fair, too dark? In the large scheme of things, does what others think about you really matter?

As children, we are sometimes geared to society’s expectations of us, and we’re not always pushed in the direction of being who we are. I’m sure you have heard it said over the years: Be friends with such and such because their dad is the bank president. Or you might have heard: You should involve yourself in this activity, because the good kids are participating.

People who base their likes and dislikes on others’ merits scare me.

I learned a long time ago to “do me.” Doing me consists of being a part of activities I enjoy and engaging with people with whom I have a common bond.

My husband of 30 years retired from the U.S. Army, and in my early days as an Army wife, I learned quickly to stay away from the wives who introduced themselves by their husbands’ rank. That was just an accident waiting to happen. There again, be yourself, I thought. A husband’s rank was not going to make me like someone more. In my book, that was an unnecessary statement.

I have found it very important to surround myself with company who generally like the same things I do. It is like being on a treasure hunt, if you will, when meeting new people and exploring their mind, as they explore yours in return.

There is nothing wrong if, at the end of your exploration, you find that person is not a fit for you. It is not saying that person is bad or beneath you; it is just not a good fit. When another person is a good fit for me, we complement each other like a good pair of Spanxs under that bad LBD (that’s little black dress).

In this day and age, where everyone is so busy with career, family and whatever else we might participate in, we sometimes lose sight of recharging our mind, body and spirit to include others.

In this new year, I plan to recharge myself and become more open to others’ opinions but still be my very own person.

My philosophy is: I can stand with a million or I can stand alone if it’s about something I firmly believe in.

I’m looking forward to a healthy mind, spirit and body in the New Year.

Shonna Sheckles lives in Bardstown and works in Elizabethtown.