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Imagining a day in the life of a single Pomeranian

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By Robert Villanueva

While my other half, Rebecca Ricks, and I continue our search for another canine companion, I’ve come to worry a little about our current companion, Tybalt.

As much as we try to incorporate play time, walks and car rides for the Pomeranian, I know he must get bored on days when we are both at work. Since we lost our other Pomeranian, Nanook, last July, Tybalt does not have any sleeping targets to dive bomb during work days.

Our search for another Pomeranian has been very specific and has included searches of area pet shelters. We’ve had a few promising leads, but so far we’ve come up empty.

Meanwhile, Tybalt has adjusted to Nanook’s absence. But I have to wonder what Tybalt does those four days a week when he has those large blocks of alone time.

Maybe he has a secret life we’re not aware of.

Maybe he throws wild canine-feline mixers while we’re away, where doggie treats and catnip flow freely. That would explain the shape the house is often in.

I can imagine an animal “Risky Business” scenario where traces of the party are erased just as Rebecca or I arrive home. Oh, wait, that wouldn’t explain the shape the house often is in, so Tybalt obviously isn’t too good at cleaning up.

Or maybe he’s using my laptop to visit a canine singles chatroom where his username is LonePom519. (His birthday is May 19). I haven’t noticed any changes to the laptop’s settings or found it out of place, but I’m sure he’d be very careful not to leave any discernable signs.

I envision his profile to read something like, “I am an energetic, athletic Pomeranian, on the young side, seeking a similar female for possible long-term commitment. I enjoy long walks with stops at fire hydrants, drives in the country with my head out the window and occasional lazy naps on the couch. My ideal mate would be de-wormed. Fleabags need not apply.”

Or maybe Tybalt has his own page on Facebook under an assumed name, like Max Ruffington or Bark Knightly. Maybe he spends countless hours posting photos of his Dog Chow-filled doggie dish or of him “planking,” “owling” or participating in the latest photo trend. He could be doing all that, and I would never know.

Then again, maybe he spends his time making prank phone calls. It would not surprise me to find out he calls random phone numbers and hangs up. That might account for some of the telemarketing calls we’ve received.

Maybe Tybalt is actually responsible for the occasional “misplaced” items in our home. That would make a lot of sense, since obviously neither Rebecca nor I would misplace anything, ever. He probably laughs at us when he sees us searching aimlessly for the remote control in the bedroom, accusing each other of losing it.

It’s not so big a stretch, then, to imagine Tybalt spends some days channel-surfing while we’re not around. I’ve never noticed any movies charged to our satellite system bill, so maybe he’s just sticking to the available channels. That might explain why nature programming is sometimes on the TV when I turn it on.

OK. So none of that actually happens.

Tybalt likely spends his days sleeping or waiting for us on those work days when we’re both gone.

But until we find just the right playmate for Tybalt, I wouldn’t blame him for whatever he did to alleviate the monotony.

Robert Villanueva can be reached at (270) 505-1743 or rvillanueva@thenewsenterprise.com.