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The Neat Freak: A knife makes a very reliable banana slicer

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By Amy Keeling Walton

I get worn out with all the products marketed to the busy folks in America that claim to save you time. I do believe there is a bit of merit in some of these products’ claims, such as using a tiller versus manipulating your garden soil using man power and a well-built hoe. However, when I see some products advertised I either shake my head or laugh out loud at the frivolity of its very invention.

Recently I was working my way through an eternal grocery list when I hit the cereal aisle. Hanging on one of those offensive merchandise strips, which remind me of fly paper strips, was a Banana Slicer. Now in case you haven’t seen this marvelous invention, it is piece of yellow plastic shaped like a banana which would “easily and safely” slice your banana in one easy step. I thought that was a knife’s job. What if the banana is longer than the Banana Slicer? Do you get out a knife, cut the banana to the correct length and then use the handy dandy Banana Slicer?

Now maybe there are some folks out there who have purchased the Banana Slicer and think it is the best invention of this decade. I will admit I am judging the product without giving it a chance because I figure I already own a knife and I can save my $4.99 and buy some more bananas.

If food slicing devices aren’t your vice, then maybe you need the Groutinator, the Smart Mop or Slipper Genie. All damsels in distress need to be rescued by a super hero cleaner. And goodness knows, you need to rid yourself of your stupid mop and wear some magic on your feet in order to have a better life.

I know the secret to having a clean house. And if you email me right now you can get two secrets for the price of one. Don’t wait. This offer won’t last long.

Give me a break. In the time you have wasted learning about a better way to clean your house, you could have bravely cleaned your grout with some Comet and a scrub brush, smartly mopped your floor with a regular mop and preserved your pride by wearing something other than glorified dust rags on your feet.

Why would someone out there think the average American would need such products in order to live a more efficient life? The modern effect of potent marketing is we believe we no longer are able to do things well on our own, therefore we feel compelled to buy something that will, of course, make us a better person.

I say stand up for yourself. You know what you need more than any manufacturing company does. Don’t believe an object can make your life easier. It is your efforts that will make the difference.

Amy Keeling Walton is owner of The Neat Freak Professional Organizing in Bardstown. She can be reached at amytheneatfreak@yahoo.com or online at www.theneatfreakonline.com.