Senior Life: Holiday visits may show older relatives’ decline

By MONICA RUEHLING

The holiday season tends to bring out the best and the worst in people. The best is the obvious holiday spirit, wishes of happiness and blessings and the time of togetherness and fellowship. But the same holiday season also may showcase not-so-noticeable declining physical and mental health in older family members and loved ones.

For some family members, the holiday season may be the first time in a long period of time to actually spend some time together with older relatives. Even if regular contact has been kept up through telephone conversations, mail, or interaction with neighbors or other family members, actually spending some time together may be quite revealing about a brewing situation.

According to a recent study conducted by the National Alliance of Caregiving, in collaboration with AARP, 15 percent of the estimated 34 million Americans who provide care to older family members live an hour or more away from their relative.

Absence, whether for a few weeks, months or years, allows someone to view an aging family member’s situation in a whole new way. Obvious changes in health and safety can prompt attention and action that may otherwise have gone unnoticed.

• Weight Loss. One of the most noticeable signs of declining health is weight loss. The cause could be cancer, dementia, heart failure or depression. A lack of energy could cause the older relative not to want to prepare meals for themselves, and even not to eat. Certain medications also could have a reaction with their metabolism, or cause some foods not to taste good. If the weight loss is apparent, prompt the older person to schedule a doctor’s appointment to discuss the possible causes.
• Dementia. There may be changes in an older adults’ mental or emotional status. Dementia and its signs of forgetfulness, withdrawal from others or activities, sleep pattern disturbances, or personality changes may become more apparent as family members spend longer periods of time with each other. These signs may also signal depression, dehydration or a urinary tract infection. Any of these changes need to be reported to a doctor.
• Balance. An older relative may not move or walk as well as the last time they were visited. A reluctance to walk or pain during movement might be an indication of a serious health problem. Unsteadiness, tripping or even falling can cause severe injury or worse.
• Home surroundings. Pay attention to the look, smell and overall appearance of the older adults’ home. If excess or unsafe clutter is in the home there may be a problem, especially if the older adult was tidy before. Bills and mail piled up also may be signs of problems. An overflowing laundry hamper or a refrigerator filled with expired foods also may be warning signs that household chores and maintenance are becoming too much. Check prescription and over-the-counter medications for expiration dates and make sure medications are in a safe place away from children and locked up if needed.

These are the major areas of concern; knowing a relative’s history and personality can help family members decide if a course of action needs to be taken. If action must be taken and while other family members are able to help support the issue, initiate a heart-to-heart conversation with the older relative. Address the concerns noticed during the visit and measures to make the situation better. Suggest an appointment for a physical with their family doctor; ask if home health could assist a couple of times a week. Maybe the need is for someone to assist with paying the bills or doing laundry and housework.

The holiday season may be the perfect time to begin compiling a to-do list with your older relative after assessing their needs during the visits. Identify and implement assistance from other family members, neighbors or community resources if needed. Having more plans and systems in place may help alleviate unnecessary stress for all of the family during the holiday season and for upcoming visits.

Monica Ruehling is family caregiver program coordinator for the Lincoln Trail Area Development District Agency on Aging. She can be reached at monica@ltadd.org or by calling 769-2393.