Singles should stay true to standards

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By Becca Owsley

For a single person, Valentine’s Day is about as fun as getting your teeth pulled.

Even though it’s kind of a non-holiday, it’s treated like the most romantic day of the year. Insert gagging noises here.

But my point isn’t to berate or belittle Valentine’s Day; it’s to let all the single ladies out there know you’re not alone.

The trap many women fall into, especially if they are feeling lonely on a day like Valentine’s Day, is they go out looking for someone rather than the one.

They wind up in unhealthy relationships just to say they are in a relationship. Women should not settle out of loneliness. And their friends often don’t help. They are in such a rush to see them in a relationship they throw out suggestions that aren’t a good match. Often they say things like, “He’s single, too. What’s the problem?” The problem is a guy being single should not be the only determining factor.

Don’t be afraid to have standards and stick to them. Those standards don’t need to be so high they are unattainable. Be realistic but don’t settle for someone just because he’s single.

For example, there are certain things I know I want in a fellow. These are things such as dependability, a sense of humor, intelligence, gentleman-like qualities — someone to open doors, carry heavy things, kill spiders and someone who has the ability to stand up and be a man.

I also would like someone who likes sports, someone who doesn’t think my love of sci-fi is weird, a family oriented guy and most importantly, someone who loves God and is passionate about his Christian faith.

Now, I don’t want phone calls or emails about your sons, grandsons or nephews. That’s not my intent and, honestly, that would be weird.

My intent is to say standards are OK. We live in a world of hook-ups and non-commitments. Women, you deserve better than that.

Don’t fall into the trap of needing a relationship just to keep from being lonely. Wait for prince charming and don’t settle for the frog.

Be strong, be patient and be willing to let a guy go if he’s not right.

This message is for young girls, too. There seems to be pressure these days to have a lasting relationship as early as middle school. Don’t fall into the trap of letting your relationship status define you. In these formative years, you’ve barely defined yourself.

If you start that at a young age, you will spend a lifetime reinventing yourself for whoever you are dating.

It’s like the scene in “Runaway Bride.” She didn’t really know what kind of eggs she liked because she always liked whatever eggs her boyfriend at the time liked. She constantly reinvented herself to fit the personality of whoever she was with.

This doesn’t mean there isn’t give and take in a relationship, but you can’t let who you are disappear.

And guys, you often go through the same things, although you won’t admit it. Don’t let yourself fall into those traps either.

Yes, Valentine’s Day stinks if you’re single. But it’s one day out of the year. It’s over before you know it.

Becca Owsley can be reached at (270) 505-1741 or bowsley@thenewsenterprise.com.